Insult Poem

                                                                                                                     by Phillip Rodriguez

You are the worst of all.
Your body is similar to a bowling ball.
The smell of yourself is bad.
And it looks like you get mad.


Your teeth are large and yellow.
When you growl it sounds like a bellow.
Your bite is strong and hard.
You look like you're made of lard.


You walk like a lumbering bear.
But when something scares you, you stare.
You have so many kids,
That you can't have a lot of Sids.


Your feces are in every crack;
knowledge and hygiene is what you lack.
If I were to kill an animal,
It would be your kind of mammal.

Phillip Rodriguez                                                                Poem w. rhyme scheme and 4 line stanza

An Elegant Compound, Water

Water is the clear life source.

The compound is a force.

The thing sounds of a song.

Though it may seem subtle and long.

A brief story of an advanced being.

E.T.’s Misfortune

                                                                                                      by: Phillip Rodriguez

    In a galaxy far, far away (but not in a long time ago), an advanced life-form typically known as E.T. travels and explores various planets in the vast Somewhat galaxy with no apparent reason. But, during its time traveling between the planets KFC and Taco Bell, E.T. decides to go faster-than-light speed. Little did it know, though, that it had forgotten to fix the breaks while it was refueling and checking the light drive on the nearest planet - Ugh. So while evading an asteroid field the protagonist ponders over whether or not it should pull over and check.

    “I just can’t remember what I was going to do before leaving Ugh, yet a there’s something missing”, asked the alien to itself. “ Was it the solar panels?”

    Sadly, because the alien couldn’t recall what it was supposed to do the ship begins to deviate from the intended course and then crash-lands on a distant planet called Earth.

    When the alien comes to, it jumps out of its vessel and looks in every direction asking itself, “Where in Gaba Uj am I?”

    Evidently, it seemed to E.T. like a moonlit forest, a biome similar to particular locations on his planet. In the sinister vibe and dim light, E.T. finds itself staring at a dark, four-legged, hairy creature with its night-vision. It looked as though the creature had spotted the alien and subsequently started to howl sending a shiver down the alien’s vertebrae. Next, there were multiple beasts coming at it and before reacting they started to viciously attack. In what seemed like an endless brawl, E.T. fought for its dear life while its body was being bitten and almost torn by its unknown attackers. In a moments time it could recall that it could defend itself! With enough time to reached its side, E.T. forcefully grabs its gun and starts blasting at every known malicious beast.

    For a mere few seconds E.T. is in shock by its previous battle with the foreign creatures, but deliberately arouses itself to stand up.

    

    “Ouch!” exclaimed E.T. while rising from the cold and uncomfortable ground.

    It then starts to presume its evaluation of the dark landscape. With no communication to its original home, E.T. is hopelessly lost. Will this cast-away ever find what it needs to repair its ship, medicate and return home? The answer is undeniably uncertain.

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